Academic Planning
A Word About High Schoolers, College & the Holiday Table

As you prepare to join family gatherings this holiday season, here’s what we encourage you to remember about high school students--
Over the next couple of months, you will more than likely have the opportunity to connect with family members or friends who are in high school. A perfectly natural topic of conversation, one may think, is to ask that student where they’ve applied to college, what their dream school is, and if they’ve been accepted… 
From the perspective of your friendly College Advisors, our professional advice is….
Don’t.
If you are a parent of a high school student, you know all too well that college admissions have become exponentially more competitive in recent years. Students have lived much of their high school experience in a global pandemic, with classes, testing, activities, and social lives tossed upside down.
Now, more than ever, our kids need the loving encouragement & support of their family and friends. They don’t need adults’ college admissions stories, they don’t need adults’ questions, however benign, and they don’t need to hear all over again, how ‘crazy’ it all is. Instead, they need breathing room, grace, and a low-stakes holiday conversation.
Here’s 3 conversation starters to try instead: 

  • What’s your favorite family holiday_____: memory, food, tradition? 
  • Tell me about the highlight of your Fall so far! 
  • So, what’s the best (or most surprising) thing you’ve read this year? OR What’s your favorite book from childhood? 

    • What you’ll notice is that all of these topics are neutral, and create an entry point for a young person to share their opinion, perspective, or experience. If a student wishes to share something about school or the college process, they will. If not, you’ve opened up space for them to engage in a conversation anyone at the table can be a part of. 
    And when the questions do come: 
    If you are the parent, friend, or relative of a high school student in the midst of the college process, feel free to support them by deflecting college questions: 
    “Wow, ______ sure has been working hard this Fall! We are so proud of them; can’t wait to share the plans for next year in the Spring! We’ll let you know after May 1….
    Have you tried these yams?” 
    Now that’s a gift a high school student will be grateful to receive.

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